Drawing in lockdown

My father was a proud Scot who lived a long and happy life. He died at the ripe old age of ninety-three-and-three-quarters after a short illness. Luckily, he knew nothing of Covid and the chaos, disruption, grief and dismay it brought and I’m very grateful for that.

His funeral was on 19 March 2020 and lockdown happened just a few days later. I found myself submerged in grief. Not only the all-consuming grief of losing my beloved Dad but also the grief of having to stop by much loved work so suddenly. I felt lost.

As many people did, I looked for something creative to fill my long days and nights – and as banana bread wasn’t really my thing, I sat down at my desk, took out my pens and pencils and began to create.

I have no idea where these drawings came from. I didn’t use any template – I just drew my own – in pencil first and then in pen. I had nothing to go by other than my feelings which seemed to spill out onto the paper with ease.

In the four mandalas that I drew first, I now see a pattern or process of that time. The drawings span a period of one year. From Mandala 1 to Mandala 4, there is a story which I believe expresses my emotional state during the drawing of each one. From shock to a closing in, then a reflection of some inner landscape to finally opening up again.

One could perhaps link this progression to the elements of Chinese medicine – fire, metal, water and wood respectively – but if I’m honest, that wasn’t anywhere in my conscious thought process when I was creating them.

I really don’t know how these drawings came about. Perhaps my taste for this type of artwork is an ancestral gift… I recently discovered that the Dalziel Brothers from the mid to late 19th century, were artists and engravers who used fine line drawings and carvings into wood to illustrate many books of the era. Sadly, I have no idea if we’re related but it’s a romantic notion all the same.

My mandala drawings now hold pride of place on my living room wall – a wonderful reminder of my dear Dad.

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All images copyright of Alison Dalziel